11 Reasons why snail mail is better

1. Snail mail can be shredded quickly.
   
2. The sender is forced to spend money on the sending process.
   
3. Postal glue tastes pretty good.
   
4. Snail mail always calls me “Mr.”
   
5. I only need to check my mailbox once a day.
   
6. Peeling off a self-adhering postage stamp is as sensuous an activity as accurately sticking one back ON.
   
7. Never having to skip over the “>>>>>>>>>>>” characters.
   
8. An aspirin will take care of most paper cuts.
   
9. There are no hyperlinks in Snail mail.
   
10. Never having to scroll past 23,000 addresses of folks who received the same boring message that begins with: “This really makes you MONEY!”
    
11. Snail mail makes great kindling.